I am about to be really honest and quite personal. So, Dad, you might want to skip this one.
You’ve been warned.
At the beginning of the month we celebrated Isaac’s First Birthday and no, I still can’t believe my baby is already one. And yes, I still cry about how fast he is growing up on a weekly basis.
At the beginning of October we also finally announced our BIG news for 2019. Our little family will be growing by one in April of 2020! And yes, only one, I have an ultrasound to prove there aren’t two in there. I don’t know why but people really think we are going to have twins.
Here is the adorable pumpkin patch announcement we shared:
Cute, right? I was very excited about taking this picture for our announcement. It is on season and just freaking adorable. And then I posted it and realized…I put the wrong freaking year.
I have a bad habit of writing the wrong year on things actually, I put the wrong year on our Christmas card last year and everything.
We are very excited about this next step for our family. Isaac will be just about 18 months old and I won’t be pregnant in the summer so I am happy. Even if this was a bit sooner than we originally planned.
So here is where we get PERSONAL.
The Blessing We Weren’t Planning
When Isaac was nine months old we had completely stopped breastfeeding. You can read about that emotional roller coaster here. I got my period for the first time in over a year that month and Aunt Flo came back with a vengeance.
I have always been really lucky when it comes to my period. I had my first one over Christmas break when I was 13 and it was pretty light after that first one. Through high school I actually only got my period every 2-3 months because I was so active (I was a competitive cheerleader, water polo player and swimmer). At 18 I started birth control and began getting regular periods which would only last 2-3 days.
Like I said, I was blessed.
So when my first post-baby period came in HEAVY and lasted five days, I was floored and SO not used to it. It also reminded me how much periods freaking suck.
After that first period I decided I needed to call my OB and go back on regular birth control. While breastfeeding there is an option to stay on the pill but it is more touchy when you miss a day. When I started this “breastfeeding pill,” as I call it, my OB recommended using condoms or abstaining for a week if I missed a day.
Well, I forgot the pill for a week when I decided I needed to call and go back on the normal pill. I let Ben know that I had forgotten and we stayed away from each other during the few days of ovulation. But, of course, we could only hold out for so long. We had sex two days after my ovulation and the next morning I just knew it. I was pregnant again.
Four weeks later I sat on the toilet waiting the required minute before checking that little stick. I already knew in my gut that we were going to be having a second child but needed that confirmation.
And of course, my gut was right.
I walked out into the living room and handed the positive test to Ben. He smiled, shook his head and said “Why are my swimmers so good?”
See, the same thing happened with Isaac. I stopped taking my birth control in December of 2017, figuring we would just go about normal life without birth control and let things happen when it was time. We both thought it would be at least three months before we got pregnant. We didn’t plan on tracking ovulation or even thinking about it. It would just happen when it happens.
What we didn’t plan on was the chance of how fertile we are.
We both come from big families. Really big families that didn’t have a hard time getting big.
And yes, when we first decided we would just let things happen I did have that scary thought: what if I can’t get pregnant?
I know how many people struggle with infertility. Heck I know a bunch of people that had a hard time getting pregnant. And even thinking about it scares the crap out of me and stresses me out.
We are so beyond blessed; we know we are. And every night before I go to bed I pray for everyone that is struggling to get pregnant. Being pregnant, heck, becoming a mom, is absolutely amazing.
If you are at all struggling with getting pregnant here is the advice I am going to give:
Try, with all of your might, not to stress about it. Stop tracking, stop thinking about it, and just enjoy the physical relationship with your partner. I have read a few different studies on the effect of stress on fertility, and as I am sure you guessed there is a very negative correlation (well, positive if you are a statistics nerd like my husband who is reading over my shoulder). This isn’t to say that letting go of the stress is going to magically fertilize an egg, but it can’t help to try.
I tell this to all of my friends who are thinking about starting a family. Just stop stopping a pregnancy and carry on with your normal sex life.
I do believe that all of the technology we have access too, automatic period/ovulation trackers right on our phones, make it so easy to focus on and allow ourselves to stress about the inability. Getting pregnant should be a FUN and exciting time, so allow it to be! When it’s time, it’s time.
*I am NOT an expert. This is my own thoughts from my own personal experiences that I love to share with you all! Also, if you are at all struggling with getting pregnant and need someone to talk to, you can ALWAYS always shoot me an email. I am happy to listen and provide any kind of support I can! <3